how to give a shit

I don’t know. Some days I really don’t know. It seems to come in phases. It’s cyclical. Like the lunar phases. I don’t think it’s tied specifically to lunar phases though.

I think I just have to remember that it comes and goes. Ebbs and flows.

And that when I don’t have it. I can’t “should” myself to death over it.

This too shall pass.

When I don’t give a shit. I can try to look at my sleep schedule. Am I just tired from lack of sleep. Can I take a nap? Can I go to bed earlier tonight?

I can look at my water intake. Am I dehydrated?

Have I eaten enough food. Am I just hangry and I can’t give a shit?

Am I lonely? Have I not had enough social contact recently. Maybe I can call or text a friend and put something out into the universe. Maybe I just need a hug. Maybe I need to pet a dog or my dog.

Maybe none of that is going to work. And I need to be able to sit in my own shitty uncomfortableness. Which is a skill I never knew I was going to need. I can be uncomfortable. I can be in pain. I will get through it. I have before. I will again.

Darkest before the dawn and all that bullshit. Sometimes this just suck and then time passes and they don’t suck anymore.