how to leave a meeting without seeming rude

First off, you could just not give a shit and walk out. I think you would be surprised by how little people care. Or if they do care how fast they would get over it. They would probably be more pissed that they didn’t have the courage to leave themselves.

If you do kind of give a shit. Wait for a natural break. Like when the topic is changing. Or the speaker is going to switch to a new person. That way it seems like a natural transition point and it’s safe to walk away.

You can always try the phone trick. Frustratingly or worriedly grab your phone. Furrow your brow, throw the phone up to your ear and walk out hurriedly. If you pull it off you will convince everyone in the room that this phone call simply couldn’t wait. If you have foresight you can seed your fellows by talking about waiting for an important phone call from a doctor that is supposed to be coming. Or you’re mother in law is landing soon and needs a ride. Or your kids are at a sleep away camp and may call any minute. Or your brother is getting out of prison today and needs a ride and will call when he gets out. Or your father in law just got pulled over for a DUI and you need to go post bail. The point of the phone call trick is to look annoyed and concerned. I don’t think people will question someone taking a phone call that appears to be an emergency. I think you get the benefit of the doubt on that every time. Now you can’t pull this trick off repeatedly. I think you only get a couple of these a year.

If you are desperate you could fake diarrhea. No one is going to give you a hard time for needing to take a shit. This is a harder improv move to pull off though. You need to convey urgency, discomfort, and panic. Try clutching your stomach with one hand and your covering your eyes. Grimace and shift uncomfortably. Snap your legs closed and cross them and lower your head and close your eyes. If you really don’t give a shit and you really want to sell it. Stand up quickly, squeeze your thighs together and place your flat palm against your butt and shuffle quickly out of the room.

I think another option is to just confidently walk out. Act like it’s the most natural thing on the planet for you to be leaving. Maybe check your watch, roll your eyes back like of course it’s that time now. And get up and walk out. Don’t look back and walk slowly but with purpose. Do not make eye contact with the speaker or anyone else. Eyes straight ahead.

Now all of these strategies are much easier to pull off if you think ahead and place yourself near the exit. Now for this to appear natural. You can’t be the second one to arrive. Usually people sit up front first and then you’ll be sitting way in the back and that will seem off. You also can’t be the last one to arrive because odds are there won’t be a spot near the door and you’ll draw too much attention to yourself finding the only available chair. I think for this to work you’ll want to arrive in the middle of the pack with everyone else. When I arrive too early and it seems awkward to grab the chair by the door, I will turn right around and head to the bathroom or grab a water. That gives the room time to fill in some more and probably leaves me with the chair I want.

Remember folks, time is the most valuable currency you have. It’s literally all we have and all we are doing is losing it. Why sit through something that’s a waste of time? Get your ass out of there and live your life.