how not to feel shame about playing games on my phone

Why does it feel like a dirty shameful secret that I played a game on my phone for 4 hours last night?

The game is called Mob Control. You point mobs of your guys against an invading army of their guys. Blue vs. red. Couldn’t be simpler. Except all the progressions and micro transactions built in.

I have not spent any money on this game. I have spent time watching ads. Which I hate.

I specifically listen to free college radio because I hate ads.

But last night I was willing to give up my prescious and fleeting time to this game and all the ads. I even chose extra ads to watch because it helped me advance the levels of my army guys.

I think I get off on the shame. I think it feels like more of an indulgence if it’s shameful. I also enjoy the game on a base level too. But the extra shame sauce makes it oh so sweet.

I never hear people talking about the mobile games they play. So I take that to mean people are ashamed of them. Maybe they aren’t ashamed they just don’t openly talk about it?

I have also played Pokemon Go on my phone since 2016. So I guess I’ve been doing it for a long time. I justify that game by saying it helps me get out and discover and move around. And yes part of the game is literally just covering ground. But you can definitely play a lot of the game just sitting on your couch. Especially if that couch is on top of a spawn point, pokestops, and gyms.

So I let myself off the hook for last night by telling myself it’s not time wasted if I enjoyed it. Which I did. I had a book right next to me that I have been itching to get more into. Just sitting there, every time an ad would pop up I would glance over at the book. Think about reading it, think about this being my last mission, then get sucked into the game again and do another mission. Rinse and repeat for 4 hours. Oh well.